Oh, the power that a great song has to transform someone - often through nostalgia, but sometimes upon a first listen. Nothing about-faces an attitude, emotion, or direction in less than four minutes like a great piece of popular music.
San Francisco: October 1989. My family was on vacation and I had just picked up a double-cassette of Sting’s Nothing Like the Sun. We were headed into the Redwood Forest. After what seemed an eternity, I asked “When are we going to get there?” My father’s answer? “Get there? We ARE there. Look around!” I did - and popped play on my cassette, hearing the opening refrains of “Fragile” for the very first time. Not only did the long day disappear in one measure of Spanish guitar, but my imagination was instantly swept up in those majestic trees - which I now picture and feel every time I hear that song.
The vista I was flying over when I heard the orchestral coda to U2’s “All I Want Is You.” The future wife I was kissing for the first time when Genesis “Hold On My Heart” started playing. Walking home from the first day of school to Don Henley’s “The Boys of Summer.” My brother and I lazying our way across the Florida Keys to “Buffalo Stance.” The nighttime runway lights zipping past me to Phoenix’s “Rome.” There are hundreds of memories that pop into my mind frequently - and I don’t know if I would remember some of them at all if it weren’t for the soundtrack.
Certainly, we understand the idea of triggers - how specific sights, sounds, and sensory onslaughts bring back memories - often unpleasant. But, a 2023 Durham University study discovered that music evoked more consistently positive memories than other emotional sounds and words. This was especially the case for negative emotional stimuli. Specifically, sad and angry music evoked more positive memories than sad and angry sounds or words. In other words, while noises, visuals, and sounds can provoke negative memories, music is far more likely to provoke a positive memory in your life - even when the music in question is not happy.
This is why we LIKE to listen to sad or angry music - even though we don’t like to feel sad or angry. When we utilize music to provoke these feelings we:
CONTROL the timing and length of sitting in those emotions and dwelling on those memories, and
are drawn more to the positive side of those emotions, i.e. nostalgia instead of grief, and overcoming instead of fury.
UCLA psychologists have discovered that the dynamics of people’s emotions mold otherwise neutral experiences into memorable events when music is involved.
To this end, the old cliche of “making her a mix tape” is not a cop-out for communicating true feeling. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Making her (or him) a mix tape is a way of not only showing her your tastes, but of communicating a wide and complex array of feelings and emotions that the guy would otherwise never be able to put into words.
But first, we must break down the distinct differences between a mixtape and a playlist:
A playlist is where Gen Alpha kids take ten minutes to drag and drop fifteen songs they just heard 10-second snippets of on Instagram. They then share this random list with their 123,000 followers with the description “mad rizz.” Their followers enjoy it on shuffle and the kid makes a couple thousand dollars.
A mixtape, on the other hand, was a labor of 1980’s artistic love. The creator of said mix tape would first have to spend actual cash on a 90-min Maxell (or a 100-min. Maxell XL II High Bias if creator was feeling especially saucy). The creator then had to whittle the 100 songs that meant something between him or her and the singular individual who would receive this mixtape down to approximately 26-32 songs. This was followed by the magical phase: when the creator took the time to strategize the most effective, surprising, and impactful ORDER that those songs should be placed on the mixtape - this is a process worth scientific study. But, after the crafting of the order, the real work would begin as the creator would then need to secure copies of all said songs, whether on vinyl, CD, or another audio cassette (or sometimes recording it off the radio by sheer luck) and then sit for an entire evening, laying each of those songs onto the mixtape IN REAL TIME. For one, it showed the object of your affection just how much time you were willing to invest in a gift. On the other, it communicated to others how badly you needed a life.
Yes, the days of having to labor quite as intensely on a mixtape are gone, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot learn to give your mixtape the proper thought, vulnerability, cleverness, and insight to make it special for your listeners - even if, and especially, it is for only ONE listener.
Having said that, romance is not the only great reason for building someone you love a mixtape. You may be attempting to transform a friend into a fan of one of your favorite artists. You may be trying to say something complicated that comes across far more whimsical through a mixtape. Or you may be saying you’re sorry - or goodbye. You might be celebrating a season - or even telling a story. For every sentiment, there is a mixtape. Here are my practical suggestions on how to craft several:
1. THE ROMANTIC MIXTAPE (circa 1994)
Rather than give you brand new examples crafted specifically for this essay, I am going to use very real mixtapes that I once created with a specific audience in mind. To this end, my best romantic mixtapes were the one-two punches that won my wife-to-be’s heart in 1994. The one-two punch is effective because it eases the target of your affection into your tastes before pouring on the romance.
First, you go light on the romance and heavy on the whimsy. I dropped this mixtape on Kaysie as winter was turning to spring and we were spending a lot of time together outdoors and driving around with the windows open (no air conditioning). I carefully song-smithed this puppy to illustrate that I had…
eclectic taste in music
wit to spare
a surplus of joy
a side of Calvin to my Hobbes
I believe it was successful. She played it on repeat for months, even though some of these songs weren’t necessarily to her tastes before meeting me. It was a deft combination of inside joke moments, songs that triggered shared memories, songs that would enliven a party of our circle of friends, and songs that made us both smile. But, without - you know - saying the three magic words.
This was followed a few months later with a mixtape honed specifically and deliciously to our romance itself. It was far more earnest and very vulnerable. But, see - it COULD be those things because the first tape wasn’t either of them at all. I had earned an excursion into the many romantic moods of our shared music. Even then, I was very intentional about not having the entire cassette be a sappy or dire experience. It was filled with upbeat numbers and surprises throughout - as well as a combination of scared and secular - just like our love. And that was the key. It wasn’t a K-Tel Collection of Love Songs. It was’t about just any romance. It was about OUR romance.
The main takeaway here is that, regardless if it is about love or for the purpose of romance, a mixtape should be a chemical reaction between you and the individual to whom you dedicate the mix. To this end, it should have as many flavors of you and of him or her without clashing. The way it begins and ends are of penultimate importance. The MOST important factor of a mixtape is how it moves in and out of each track, each mood - always surprising with what’s next while also earning a legitimate, “well, of course.”
I made Kaysie a third mixtape, as well. It was called “Will You Marry Me” - but I’m not about to share that one with you here.
2. THE NEW FAN MIXTAPE
There is a specific rhythm to making a new fan for one of your favorite bands - or reigniting the spark from an old fan who got worn out by said band’s politics and / or grandstanding. Of course, to work a playlist effectively, the band needs to be around for a while with some deep cuts. An Olivia Rodrigo mixtape is just putting her two albums on shuffle. There’s no art to it. Same with bands who wax on too long. You wouldn’t make a live mix of Phish or the Grateful Dead because you’re thirteen minutes in before a second song can change a listener’s mind. You also need a band with a lot of hits AND many, many solid deep cuts.
I find that whether you are trying to please an established fan, reestablish a jaded one, or induct a neophyte, there is a rhythm to the order of tracks. You don’t start with the BEST song they have to offer, rather you let each track (1 through 8, in this case) match these corresponding sentiments:
“Oh! I forgot they did this song.”
“Everybody knows this song.”
“Never heard this one. Is it new?”
“Everybody REALLY knows this song.”
“I had no idea they sounded good THIS long ago.”
“I had no idea this hit was them.”
“This is the song I’ve been waiting for.”
“I’m so sick of this song, but now I remember why I liked it.”
My first practical example is Sting, who most young audiences perceive as fussy and a bit stoic. Many older fans forget how raucous and brilliant The Police were from the first track on the first album. They also are unlikely to know his more recent deep cuts that contain a great deal of wit and wordplay (“Seven Days,” “I Hung My Head,” “If It’s Love”). For the pure musicianship of his complex arrangements and jazz influences, Sting is a wonderfully moody yang to the yin of most individuals’ music collection. Here is how I built my Sting primer to share with both the jaded and the newbie.
Another example is the criminally underrated Annie Lennox, lead singer of the 80’s pop powerhouse duo The Eurythmics, and one of the finest and boldest female voices of the last half century. You would be hard-pressed to find many who are aware of Annie Lennox deride her as untalented or her songs as anything but solid earworms, and yet she isn’t the sort of artist many would build a mixtape from as a source because it doesn't seem like her hits go that deep. This mixtape starts with her most recent foray into the American Songbook of pop standards and bends backwards from her 90’s megabits through to Eurythmics and back again, including her sessions on the soundtracks to “Scrooged” and “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” (for which she won the Oscar for Best Original Song). Experience this mixtape for yourself and you’ll see how juggling past and present can make new fans out of young and old alike.
A third example is Bruce Hornsby, certainly a name most know as a world-class musician, even if their only connection is 1985’s “The Way It Is.” What most listeners do not know is that Hornsby has expansively reinvented himself over the years, breaking the boundaries of what is expected of a modern pianist. Jazz, classical, pop, country, experimental orchestrations, digital compositions - Bruce has done it all effectively. Yet, many a lover of fine piano have passed him over as a one-hit wonder. Take a listen to this mixtape of Hornsby - and discover for yourself what makes a modern virtuoso.
And then, of course, you have a pure legend like Billy Joel. A pop artist whom almost everyone reveres, while most could only name a few singles from his vast and complex oeuvre. By toggling this mixtape between his most epic deep cuts and his extravagant surplus of hits, there is enough for the party to sing along to while reminding them why they need to run out and add a few more titles to their vinyl collection after the party (starting, if they ask, with “The Stranger” and “Turnstiles”).
The point is, when introducing an artist, just like when introducing yourself, you want those you care about to get just a taste at first, and then you want them to want more - to investigate all of the flavors and nuances of what makes you - or one of your favorite artists - so intriguing, so necessary. That can only be done when the flavors are carefully laid out one at a time in a compelling order, each flavor whetting the taste buds for the one that follows.
3. THE HEAVY EMOTION MIXTAPE
Often, music can convey the tear-inducing or eye-rolling sentiments that we find ourselves unable to speak. When my best friend Jason left Tulsa with his family to go earn his Masters of Divinity, I couldn’t say everything that I needed to say - so I composed the following mixtape - and prayed it wouldn’t wreak of desperation. It didn’t. It helped both of us heal from the parting. And I now utilize it every time I ache because someone has to spread their wings.
4. THE CELEBRATING A SEASON MIXTAPE
Anyone can make a Christmas playlist - and even that requires a deft juggling of high octane numbers and low-key nostalgia. But, what’s even better is a Thanksgiving day playlist that fills your home with sing-along classics while only sprinkling Christmas standards in about every fourth song. I built this mixtape three years ago. I add a little to it every year, and it has become a family favorite, playing all day long until our mouths hurt from singing, smiling, and consuming tryptophan.
5. THE COMPLICATED SUBJECT MIXTAPE
When COVID hit in the early 2020’s, I was teaching a college course on playwrighting. Suddenly, I found myself needing to communicate to my writers that they - and everyone else - had been placed under a state of quarantine. I was puzzled how to say these words while helping them to still feel like a community - and, of course, to not panic. The answer? I built a mixtape. It took a very touchy subject and allowed them to both wallow in the misery of it and make fun of it all at the same time. It gave them something to do, something to share, and something to discuss. The playlist was mostly tongue-in-cheek in nature, but definitely ended up my most passed-around, helping hundreds cope with the very unfunny reality we were all facing. In order to do this, I had to choose songs that fit the move, while allowing everyone to blow off some steam - and the titles themselves had to bring a smile.
And sometimes, the subject matter is far more intense. My wife built this mixtape for herself (and me and all of our kids and so on) for when you are so enraged - so fuming angry, you need the revenge to play out in your head so you won't do it in real life. That is the vicarious beauty of music. We can allow our feelings to play out in full into emotions without scarring another person. God never told us not to be angry. He told us to be angry - but not to sin. And he didn’t say no to a killer soundtrack.
6. THE STORY MIXTAPE
Then, there are those artists who allow the mixtape in their mind to influence and shape their own creativity. I have done this many times by building mixtapes to inspire my writing. One enormous exception (pun intended) is my new work of fiction “Everest & the Exceptions” (coming out this October), which not only needed a mixtape for inspiration, it needed a literal soundtrack for the 1985 pop menagerie that plays out within its pages. The Prologue and the first six Chapters have been made available here in the Archive, but you’ll have to wait for the full 500+ page adventure. In the meantime, enjoy this playlist, which serves both as inspiration for the writing of the book - while, at the same time, as a very specific soundtrack of its characters, rhythms, and plot.
The mixtape is not an archaic relic of civilizations past. It is the time-honored tradition of baptizing a moment of your life in song - and then sharing that moment with a target of your affection. Regardless of where technology takes us, I cannot imagine giving up the exercise. Because sometimes, there are no words to express how you feel - but there is a song that will allow you to drag those emotions out onto the dance floor where they belong.
Next: "ONE DYNAMITE TCHOTCHKE BESTS A NETWORK OF LIES" (2024) A brand new long-form comedic essay by Mark Steele. Exclusively written for the Mark Steele Archive.